The bottom of my heart

Last summer, back in a regular schedule after 6 months seeing God’s greatness in different countries, I was wondering: «How am I gonna experience God’s power now»?

My two futures roommates and I were looking for an apartment for the month of September. I had a trip to Europe planned for the month of mid-august. Here was my plan: find the apartment before my trip, sign the lease, enjoy my trip and come back to move in my lovely apartment with my sweet roommates.

My strategy: look every day for adds, call landlords as soon as possible and make a decision quickly. In my mind, that’s how it works.

So then, we visited….maybe 20 apartments throughout the whole summer without finding anything decent.

We prayed a lot to find the good one. But to be honest, I was thinking:   ‘’Why does it have to be so complicated? It’s just an apartment; I’ve always done three to four visits to find a good one in the past’’.

My roommate told me, ‘’But God has a specific apartment for us and we’ll find it in his perfect glory’’.  But I didn’t have time to wait for this specific apartment. My trip was coming, and then September was coming and I would have to find a plan B.

But then I had no choice, I submitted to God and told Him: ‘’Ok, if you really want to give us the right one, here is my request; an apartment with a fourth room to create a prayer room. So if it’s your will, I’m waiting for you’’.

So, three weeks before the moving day, without apartment, I left for Europe, letting my roommates in charge. Anxious and wanting to search from a distance, I decided to do nothing, but pray!

One morning, my roommate wrote to me, ‘’we might have a nice possibility, not too expansive, with four bedrooms’’. I took the only 5 minutes left of wifi I had to tell her that it was actually an answer to my prayer. She thought of a prayer room too, but we never told each other until that moment.

It’s how my roommates signed the lease with a really nice landlord, for an apartment that was higher than our expectations.

I came back from my trip, organized the move while unpacking my luggage and packing my boxes. No, that was not my perfect plan from the beginning. But that was God’s perfect plan!

God knows me by heart and it’s more important to Him to make me submit in the unknown. Not to makes me anxious, but to open my eyes to His heart and His greatness in every detail. It’s more important to Him to make me see How He wants to provide everything by Himself.

He is our God, our creator, our Father, our savior, our friend, our provider; our mighty king, our life’s manager, even in the little details. He could make everything happens in any moments. He’s waiting for us to give up on our perfect plan to show us how His plan is so much better for us.

In a place where God seems passive and absent, when we feel we open every doors by our self, He’s actually working hard…in our heart. This is what God cares about ; that our heart is growing in the knowledge of His peace and in the fact that He’s gonna always…always provide in His perfect timing, no matter what are the boundaries on our way.