The bottom of my heart

It’s been weeks now I got back from Cambodia. But all of you Know how I let my heart to these kids I met. Yes, I’m still thinking about them, remembering their smiles and their joy. 

Two days after we got back, we had a team debrief at the base of YWAM to discuss about our experience. It was so Good and so hard to talk about what we saw, I was still confuse about what God wanted to show me. But our school leader brought some thoughts which helped me a lot. I understood more God’s heart for the kids instead of just my feelings. 

I wrote a letter, it’s how I think God talked to me by my time in Crossing Cambodia. 

《Jade, I want to tell you about Mymy, a girl I introduced to you in Cambodia. I love this little girl so much. Every morning, I am with her when she wakes up on her little cardboard bed and her old blanket. I am with her when she put her clothes on, the clothes she received from crossing Cambodia. Afterward, she run barefoot to play with her friends. It’s 6 o’clock, she hears the sound of the truck. « Mymy, Mymy !! Crossing Cambodia ! » She runs to get in the truck, be squeezed with all her friends. I am still with her, I delight to see her laughing and enjoy the ride. I Know her stomach hurts because she’s hungry but she remembers she will have breakfast at the Center of Crossing Cambodia. 

After eating, she finds a bed. All her friends and her find rest for a couple hours. Now it’s time to have class. She has fun to draw, play games, learn Khmer, which is the language of the place. She is tired, her head is so itchi because of all the lices she has since few weeks, she wants to play video games but it’s not time yet. She cries. But I am still with her, I hate to see her crying. 

Then she sees the americain arrive. She remembers she will have english class. She has to sit and listes.  The teachers look at her and smiles. Then they make a review of yesterday. She’s able to remember the names of watermelon and pineapple. The teacher make a high five with her. She’s laughing, her smile come back. How I enjoy see her being joyful. 

They make a dance, she start jumping, running, dancing. She is so beautiful, so smart, so kind. I am so proud of her. 

The class is done, the teacher sit with her and play hands games like party cake. Someone spend time with her, she learns new games. She keeps smiling. It’s time for snack. She runs to grab her soymilk. It’s time to go back in the truck. 

In her ride to go back in the street, she gets to teasing her friends, sing songs. How I love her, How I want her to sing songs for me, with me. 

She goes down of the truck, get to play again. She put her hand in her pucket, finds a candy. She still have one candy left from english class today. She jumps again, being so happy to have a candy. 

Exhausted, she lays down on her cardboard bed, with her old blanket, scratching her head, smelling the stinky air around her. She’s thinking about the dance of today, she starts singing as she fall asleep. I am with her when she sleeps also. 

See, Jade, it’s my indescribable love for her. I Know, she’s living in the street, she doesn’t have everything she needs everyday. I Know, you didn’t have the same environnement growing up. But I want you to know my justice still reigns.  See, I provided for her people, fond, education everyday. I am not letting her suffer alone. I put people to take care of her, teach her and love her. I sent you to her to bring more joy in her day. I am provider. Also, I already died for her. I already set freedom to let her the possibility to walk with me. Did I tell you How I live her. I am desperate everyday to her to hear my voice, know my words, know how I love her. 

I pursued her since she is born. Could you trust me I will keep pursuing her ? 

Can you see now the hope in this place ?》 

My school leader told me this day : 《There’re sometings so important for God that He won’t tell you, He will show you》 

That’s so true, God showed me !